Isn’t it surprising that two people can find themselves in the same situation and yet have different responses? Two drivers stuck in slow moving traffic may react in completely different ways.
John is huffing and puffing, muttering angry words to himself under his breath, berating the traffic lights, road works, council, government or other drivers as his heart rate goes up and he begins to feel a headache coming on.
If you want to make yourself happy, you have to learn to let go of anger and the notion that anyone or any situation can make you angry.
A happy person has found the secret of noticing the angry emotion and using it as an energy to becoming proactive in a situation. Sometimes harnessing the power of anger constructively, means you can take action to resolve problems or make changes. Anger can be a positive energy if you act with emotional intelligence.
If you merely react angrily to a situation, you are operating from that older fight or flight part of the brain. It’s a bit like having a monkey sitting at the keyboard of your internal computer, processing incoming information and only seeing two responses…fight or run away.
Much better to have the neocortex or more highly evolved rational human brain making the decisions.
Trouble is, all incoming information goes to the monkey brain first and it takes time to allow for that information to be sent across to the rational brain. That’s why time is the real key to responding appropriately to trigger situations.
There are so many reasons why you should control anger. Yes, it is an obstacle to happiness, but also damages relationships, loses jobs, can result in people or property getting hurt and, in the end, anger will hurt you too.
Happy people live longer
There are many studies which have now made the link between anger and heart problems. Research continues to grow which seems to show the calmer you are, the happier you are and the longer you live.
Anger is also such a large emotion that it also clouds judgment and sends people into that polarized black or white thinking style. Two angry people in an argument will never back down. They are right, the other person is wrong and there are no areas of grey for negotiation .
An old man is sitting round a camp fire with his grandson.
The fire crackles and glows in the fading light as the heat from the fire warms their outstretched hands.
As they gaze into the flickering flames, the old man begins to speak…..
‘My child,’ he says , ‘Inside you, and inside all of us, there is an battle going on between two powerful wolves.’
‘One is an angry wolf, full of jealousy, greed, resentment and all those negative, unhelpful emotions.’
‘The other is the wolf of happiness. He is the wolf of joy and peace, love and hope. He is the wolf of serenity.’
….and the old man gazes quietly and knowingly into the fire.
The young boy, unsettled, after a while asks a question.
‘But grandfather,’ he whispers ‘which wolf will win the battle?’
The old man looks into the eyes of the boy and replies simply…
‘My child, it is the one you feed.’
If you or someone you know suffers from anger, let me know in the comments, and we can start a discussion…
Get Help With Your Stress and Happiness Levels
If you’re having trouble unwinding, try our guided meditation: Relax and Be Happy. In this 17 minute audio file, you will be gently guided down a winding path in your imagination and onto a relaxing beach where you will be encouraged to breathe stress away, learn to relax your body and begin to tap into those wonderful internal resources we all have.
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